God Can Do More When You Feel Like You’re Less

It’s kind of ironic how I posted a quote about me not forgetting what God has done for me. So, by the time August 11th comes around I forgot. I forgot about how surely I would have died had I not made the decision to live.

(Left) Lee Thompson Young (Right) Robin Williams

(Left) Lee Thompson Young (Right) Robin Williams

As most of you may know one of the most well-known among comedians, Robin Williams, had departed from this world last Monday on August 11th.
The news was shocking, of course, but when I found out he committed suicide I was heartbroken. A month or two ago, I found out that the main character from The Famous Jet Jackson, Lee Thompson Young, had partaken in the same experience. When I found out about his death, my feelings were mutual.

It’s heartbreaking because I had went through the back and forth
of contemplating suicide for a couple of years.I was in a state of mind that I couldn’t get out of. The devil had my mind in a box that caused me to think that no one cared about me. I hated my life. What caused me to hate my life was the verbal abuse from my peers. Have you heard the saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?’ That’s a lie. I used to believe that until the sticks and stones that my peers threw at me were sinking into my mind every time they would point and laugh at my cerebral palsy. With every word or laugh was a breaking of soul that I couldn’t detach from. There words and laughs had already sunk in so deep in my mind that I couldn’t escape my wounds.

The wounds that I had caused me to put up a wall. This wall that I had put up caused me to become anti-social. I wouldn’t talk to others unless they talked to me. I didn’t know how to get out of my thoughts. I wasn’t even thinking of help. The help I had my mind fixed on was to take myself out of my problems was to take myself off of this Earth by committing suicide. I wouldn’t have gotten out of that state if it wasn’t for God.

If you just so happen to read this, know that your decision to read was not a mistake…you were meant to. Maybe you’re wanting to commit suicide, or maybe you just want some advice on how to stop someone from ending there life. I know a solution that helped me, and that solution can help you too JESUS.

The day I gave my life to God I knew I had made the right decision. I knew that I was loved and knew that he was always there before I ever entered this world. I wish I would had known that Jesus could do more than just die on a cross, but I didn’t. On August 11th of 2011 I actually found out that he could do more than just save, he could deliver.

August 11th was the day I forgot. I shocked at the fact that I did forget. This day is very important to me. This day is a very important part of my testimony because God can do more when you feel like you’re less.

All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death (1 john 5:17)-Me wanting to kill myself was me playing a apart in sin.

Here’s a solution to get rid of sin…

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)-He had already took my suicide upon himself when he bled on the cross

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)-Because he had took my suicide he had to die

When he died he went to hell

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay (Matthew 28:5-6)-For two days his body was in a tomb, but on the 3rd day…he rose 😀

All of this makes up The Gospel!

If you believe the information I just passed on to you please say this prayer:

Jesus, I believe you died and rose for my sins. I understand that you have forgiven me of my sins. I ask you to come into my life, and be my Lord. I declare that you are Lord over my life. I thank you for forgiving me of my sins and giving me a new life.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9)

You can also check out my other topics here:

My thoughts on suicide

My testimony

When You Speak Over Yourself

I feel really good today. I was sad yesterday because of a situation I’m going through. You know what I did? I spoke over mind, and today I feel great! This is my second time ever doing this. It really works when you speak over yourself. I can speak the promises of God over my life everyday, but if I can’t take authority over the enemy over the battle of my mind something is wrong.

If I can’t take authority it’ll be like God didn’t deliver me in the first place. If god hadn’t of delivered me I’ll be trying to take authority over something I don’t possess myself. But since I do have that authority I have to take advantage of it. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

It’s important speak to yourself when you’re faced with a situation that the enemy is trying to trap you in. So instead of me getting worked up about or crying about the situation I spoke to my mind and [basically] told it to sit and be still.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2


I Needed Encouragement…

I would have posted over the past couple of days, but I’ve been dealing with a particular situation for a couple of weeks now.

If you don’t know this right now God is your GPS to get you to where you need to go.

God had a word for me, I received it, and now he’s leading me to my destination. I have the green light to go.

So far it’s been exciting and stressful.

Starting off, I was excited! Like, is this really happening?Yes it is. But it was one thing I knew I had to do was to tell my mom about the plans that I have, without going into much detail.

I was worried, but she understood.

A couple of days after that I had finally confessed to God that I was scared, but I also thanked him for believing in me.

Ya’ll know after a talk with God everything is fine and you know that he’s got you. The next day I was believing God for my strength, strength to keep going towards my destination.

As the days went on these certain thoughts were in my mind. These thoughts were so in my mind that I cried, I thought about giving up, and I had to give myself some encouragement. The enemy also had me feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

And so the next day I asked God if I have any doubt or unbelief I asked if he would take it away ‘cause I’m not going into my promised land with doubt, fear, or unbelief because I can’t go in with it.

The Lord definitely answers prayers because my sister and I had a very encouraging talk  about how the Lord is ordering our steps. God knew I needed that. I came out of that talk feeling more light and confident.

It went from how God is ordering our steps, confession, encouragement, and how God’s word is so true.

Ending this I would just like to let you know that whenever you are down God will give you encouragement for your situation. He’s done it plenty of times for me, and he can do the same for you.


For The Ones Who Feel Insecure

My heart goes out to those young women who simply are not satisfied with the way they look. I can relate. I used to be where you are. I didn’t like the fact that I was born with cerebral palsy, that I’m skinny, or the fact
I’m short even.

I’ve come to accept the way I am

The bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. If anybody else doesn’t think you’re beautiful, God thinks your beautiful. He’s the one that created you. He didn’t make a single mistake when he made you.

And me realizing that made me accept the fact that I do have cerebral palsy, I’m skinny, and short. But once I got passed all that I can see that Jesus makes all things new. The old has passed, and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I used to ask God why I was born with cerebral Palsy

Now I use my legs for his glory by dancing

I used to not like being skinny

But I’ve learned that it’s not always going to be this way. My body is going to change as I get older. God is more than able to do things with my body that I never thought possible. I’m truly believing him for that.

I used to not like being short

I have no true explanation for this. I’ve just learned to live it. I’m not going to get any taller, so I might as well just accept it for what it is.


And if I can’t trust Him with my body, how will I ever be able to trust my future husband with my body.

You know that saying, “You can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself?” Well, it’s true. When I was in my years of dissatisfaction I wanted revenge. I wanted people to hurt just as I did. But once I came to Christ none of that was necessary anymore. God showed me his love to pour out on
others who are just as insecure as I was.

Thankfully, the Lord has delivered me from all of that. The next time you’re feeling insecure remember God’s love for you. He loves you more than any person on Earth could ever. Trust God with your body, and he will continually honor you with his words of affirmation.

If I’m giving Up On God I’m Giving Up On His Promise If I Give Up On His Promise I’m Giving Up On The Purpose Attached To It

Yesterday’s moment was not an easy moment for me. The moment was brought up prior to yesterday; I couple of months ago. A couple of months ago I cried about it, but yesterday I left the situation and stood on what God had told me regarding a promise. I didn’t shed a tear.

I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t explain myself. In 2011 I found out something I didn’t want to find out. By isolationg myself from the news God had let me know something was important for me to hear. So that’s the reason why I’m still enduring with what God promised me. A couple of days after that I had gotten confirmation from God, through my pastor, saying the same thing that God had told me while he was preaching. And I believe from that day
on I was going to stand on what God had said. Now almost three years later I’m still standing, I may have doubted (that’s a part of a testimony), but I’m still standing. Now I know what the purpose is attached to this promise that God is going to give me. And now that I know about that purpose I was thinking of that purpose when the situation had come.

This morning I asked myself this question:
Why would I give up when I know the truth?

If I’m giving up on god I’m giving up on his promise if I give up his promise I’m giving up on the purpose attached to it.

This may sound crazy but because of what God told me, like I stated before, I’m still enduring. That day in 2011 I was going to leave the promise. Now because I know the deeper truth to the promise I’m in a deeper imprisonment
(in a good way) to trust God even more. When you have truth of God, why would you leave? Why would you give up? Endure because all of God’s promises are yes and amen. It seems like the more deeper I go the more truth I get and the more truth I get the more I’ll be tested. The more I get tested the more I’ll be able
to perservere and not by swayed. The same goes for you my family don’t give up.




Be Able To Give An Answer When Believing God

Be Able To Give An Answer When Believing God

Yesterday I was asked a question about a promise I’ve been believing God for, for like 2 years now. The question went something like this:

What if you never……..?

My response in the end was I know what I know.

Then, today I was thinking of this scripture:

1 Peter 3:15 [NIV]
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

And just like I should give an answer as to why I have the hope I have, I also feel like this can be applied to our everyday lives, by explaining why I believe who I believe when he tells me something. I should be able to explain why I believe God when he makes me a promise.

Before that particular verse Peter writes about threats in doing good for the Lord. In the verse before that it reads:

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats, do not be frightened.”

So if I can’t give an answer as to why I believe in God and why I serve him; what I’ve been doing for almost three years is in vain. But the thing is, is that its not. I have several reasons why I serve him:

He showed me love when I didn’t know how to show love to myself
He delivered me
He has given me hope and a future
I know who I am in Him
He’s still working on me
Even when I wasn’t suppose to be here I’m here
His word is true
His love is true
He has resurrected
I have one on one access to him everyday
It’s a relationship, not religion
When I messed up he always put me right back on track
He’s not going to let me go back to my old life!
What others may see as a disability he has used it for his glory!
I believe he loves to encourage me ❤

And the list goes on and on!

And just like this list I had made, I made a list as to why I believe God regarding his promise to me.

There are a lot of reasons on the list, but the one true reason is because of God.

Trust me, that may have sounded cliché-ish but it's true if ya'll knew what I know.

All the adversary, tears, loneliness, questions, and lies are so worth it.

I have a truth that the longer I have waited the more the truth to this promise comes out. The truth of God's promise for my life is not declining, but it is progressing…Oh, how beautiful it is! I love it!

When God finally does decide to give the promise to me I'll be able to say that what God said has come to pass.

Times of people questioning you or not believing you will come. You have the responsibility to stand on what God told you, and do it without being ashamed.

James 1:2-4 [NIV]
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

God, when is it going to happen? Just Celebrate!

I woke up this morning with this thought on my mind…God, when is _____ going to happen for me? To be honest I’ve had this thought on my mind for a while now, but not in the way that you might be thinking. I may have been thinking that, but not like that. I was thinking of God, when is it going to happen to the fact that it’s just so easy to get sucked into that mind game the enemy loves to play with us on.

I have a confession to make I have been waiting on a promise from God, it’s been almost three years, and it still hasn’t happend yet. God knows this. The enemy knows this as well. It’s in God’s plan that I’m waiting, and that’s good, but on the other side of that is to think negative and ask God, “When is it going to happen?” Don’t do it! Don’t give in!

I don’t know what it is your waiting on God for. Maybe you have been wating almost three years like me. Or maybe you’ve been waitng five. Just becausee you have been wating doesn’t mean God has given up on you. Waiting doesn’t mean God has forgotten about you. You are in a process. God is perserving you for a greater purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what that is.

Enjoy this time of waiting on God to bring that promise to pass. I can let you know that from experience it’s made me a stronger woman. And as I was laying on my bed I was thinking, instead of thinking negative I could be thinking positive and celebrate to God for keeping me and for us enduring this long. I can testify today that it’s because of God that I have been waiting almost three years for a promise that he wants so badly to give me, but i’m not ready yet. And you may not be ready as well. Or you may be ready and you just don’t know it yet and your promise is getting ready to knock on your door. Hold on. In the mean time, celebrate!

Romans 5:3-4 [ESV]
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope

Hebrews 10:36 [NIV]
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

James 1:2-4 [ESV]
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.